Another Intelligent Design

In an attempt to ensure for the well-rounded education of our nation's youth, many concerned citizens have sent a letters to our nation's schoolboards urging them accept the axioms of Intelligent Design. Following are excerpts from one particularly compelling letter:

. . . I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design. . . . I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster [and] that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him. [For instance] a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this . . .

Be sure to check out the complete report from the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Website.